COMMENT OF THE DAY #84
I want to conclude this 3 part topic by stressing that “private + confidential” is a means to an end. You, personally, have to be private + confidential. Never become loose-lipped. But the purpose? To get the party to engage/talk/get involved.
Sometimes a party will just keep schtum. It may be bad tactics or just shyness. Either way you get nowhere unless the dam breaks + the water flows. You need to get to to the key issue/s that enables you to move from Stalemate to Settlement.
So do stress private + confidential (P+C) to lower the drawbridge + enable both sides to be involved. Once that assurance has been conveyed you, then, have to press the button + move from positions to interests + work out the critical turning point issues.
This is where your brainpower/experience/instinct makes you an effective mediator. This is where your “feel” applies best of all. So use P+C to establish your credentials + your talents + then Go To Work.
This is what sets an effective mediator apart from the opposite.