FINANCES AND THE CHILDREN – EPISODE 3

Written by Graham Perry

Graham Perry M.A. Cantab FCIArb Experienced Arbitration Lawyer | China & Chinese Business Affairs | Public Speaker/Lecturer

3 May 2022

MEDIATION #232

Juliet raises finances with you. She has some savings but no private or inherited resources. She is aware from the divorce papers + from some heated conversations with her husband Anthony that Chrissy, his girlfriend, has a 10-year-old daughter. Juliet senses that Anthony will come under pressure to help Chrissy financially with the daughter + fears the insecurities that will arise if family funds become scarce. Will she have to consider removing her two children, aged 14 and 12, from their fee-paying schools and place them in the State system?

In this conversation, Juliet reveals her worries, her loss of confidence and her fears for the future. You are the Mediator and not Juliet’s solicitor and you explain to Juliet the steps that can be taken that may bring about a significant move towards financial reassurance. As the Mediator, you feel for Juliet and her anxieties about the future but a different problem is beginning to arise. You are beginning to have unexpressed feelings towards Juliet.

You are quite taken aback as a female/female relationship is not something you have ever experienced. You are not For or Against a same-sex liaison. It just has not arisen in your life + you are confused. Do you have feelings towards Juliet or do you just feel sorry for her? After all, you have worked as a Mediator for a number of years + have met with unhappy wives without ever having feelings or thoughts of a relationship. It is the case that since your own divorce, you have settled into a single personal lifestyle. There has been the occasional date with various men but that is all. What to do?

You are in a quandary. Have you been smitten? Is something quite new happening to you? Do you have feelings or is it little more than sympathy for Juliet’s plight? You also begin to think over the problems that will arise in your role as a Mediator if feelings for Juliet are more deep-seated than you have ever previously experienced.

EPISODE 4. 3 JUNE 2022. THE MEDIATOR AGONISES

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