COMMENT OF THE DAY #39

MEDIATION

The story so far. 3 Staying Partners (SP) and 1 Departing Partner (DP) meet for a Mediation. Reconciliation is possible.
Two SP’s are interested + the 1 DP too. The obstacle is the one female SP who bears a grudge against the DP because he had an affair – the female SP and the DP wife are good friends. In a phrase the female SP wants the DP to go out of her loyalty to the wife.

So what to do? You need mediation with 3 SPs’. No progress on the partnership issue unless you get movement on the different positions of the 2 SP and the 1 SP. So the first step, call all three together.

Summarise the logjam and enquire if anyone wants to say anything. Lots of words but little progress. You know instinctively what now needs to be done. You need to meet with the female SP and begin to tear away the leaves of the artichoke.

Don’t pepper her with questions. Let her speak. She will have much to say. You need to be an attentive listener – for what she says and for what she does not say.

In the next episode – 27 March – I will focus on the emerging position of the female SP and the choices for you as Mediator.