GOOD MORNING FROM LONDON

MEDIATION  – #320

EPISODE #2 – THE NEIGHBOUR’S FOOTBALL.

It happens. We have all experienced it at some stage of our lives. A warm day, sitting in the garden, listening to the twittering birds, reading a good book, music of our choice playing in the background and a chilled drink to hand to complete our contented state,

And then – Crash. A football from the neighbour’s garden hits the fence – It happens. Usually a one off but what if it is repeated – again and again?

Life can be tranquil; peace and calm can appear to be the norm but we know as life unravels before us that there are surprises – some good but some destructive. And that is the Neighbour’s Football.

There is a setting. You and your wife have lived in the leafy lane for 30+ years and the area has a community feel – people stop to talk to each other; they keep in touch with each other’s families ; they know how to celebrate a family event and how to share a family loss. They also know how to keep in touch and when to come and when to go.

But there is a “but”. The new neighbours are taking time to settle. The parents are on the brash side and the children are noisy with voices that rip through the evening calm. No incidents as such but a general awareness that the norms have changed and the Lane isn’t quite what it was.

In life we know that adjustments are part of the norms of settled relationships. We bid old friends a warm goodbye and we welcome newcomers as they ease into their new position. The same in neighbourhoods or apartments or resident associations. But maybe it is because the family home is seen as a family castle with moat and drawbridge for protection that occasionally awkwardness is handled clumsily and little things become big things. This is true in every aspect of our lives including arbitration and mediation. We are not always balanced and sensible and constructive. We think we are but it often takes others to draw attention to moments when we fall short.

Back to the neighbours – the ball frequently hitting the garden fence with a resounding “thud”. The elderly neighbours are unsettled. The tranquillity of recent years is being challenged and so is the mindset of the couple.

A collision is approaching. Just the time for a sensitive mediation.

EPISODE #3.   A REAL LIFE INCIDENT THAT LED TO COURT AWARDED DAMAGES OF £19,800.