EPISODE #1 – A MALODOROUS DISPUTE
GOOD MORNING FROM LONDON
MEDIATION – #326
A MALODOROUS DISPUTE
CONFRONTATION OR MEDIATION?
It was a pleasant Tuesday afternoon – the buds were beginning to show through and crocuses broke ranks and coloured the winter landscape. The sun was out – always makes a difference.
William happened to be looking out of his upstairs bedroom window and saw a neighbour from the leafy estate with dog in tow. The neighbour and four legged companion both paused as the collared animal discharged his stomach’s contents on the front garden. William was not bothered. These things happen and owners are now primed to carry a poo bag to collect up the load. Only this time there was no bag and the neighbour simply walked on.
William was incensed and, you might think, rightly so. He was advanced in years and slow to move so chasing after the neighbour and letting rip was not an option. Probably a blessing, thought William. He would have been irate, inflammatory and achieved little more than a full-scale confrontation.
He put on the kettle, laid out a cup and saucer, rearranged the kitchen dishes and just reflected.
What was his next step? Stand outside the front door and give the neighbour an earful as he walked home. Or put out a blast on the neighbourhood’s Whats App line. Or pen an aggressive note and put it through the neighbour’s post box.
Actually he did none of these things and instead switched on the television and caught up with the most recent episode of Hilary Mantle’s WolfHall.
At least he did not have Cromwell’s problems.
He returned to the issue later that evening. He was calmer, wiser, more reflective. He was thinking of; solutions not confrontations and he realized he was not the person to deal with this provocative interlude. He rang up the Chair of the Neighbourhood Committee and told him what had happened. The Chair said “Leave it with me”. And William did. He knew good would come of it. The Chair was a problem solver, a natural reconciler. He was the well-regarded Chair for good reason. He had a temper but no one had ever seen it. He could be testy but it would be squeezed out by his pleasant manner.
Two things happened. That night, unknown to George, the neighbour returned and cleared up the unwelcome discharge. At the same time the neighbour delivered a handwritten note of apology. It was more than just “Sorry”. It was fulsome.
George was now on the back foot – pleased that the Chair had done well .but wondering whether he had made too much of a fuss. The neighbour had come out late at night on a winter’s evening with poo bag and garden spray in hand to repair any lingering marks. The neighbour who had been at fault was now a Knight in Shining Armour.
We know our strengths but we need to know our weaknesses as well. We know our rights but we need to know our responsibilities. We need passion and feeling but we also need reflection and objectivity. And when we are right we need to look beyond the present and think how our actions will impact on the future.
A few days later, George, unthinkingly, stepped onto a pedestrian crossing causing the approaching driver to slam on the breaks. George immediately blustered an apology of words. “Don’t worry”, said the driver. “Hope you are OK”. It was the neighbour. Peace had broken out.
OK – this is a simple low key neighbour dispute resolved with the intervention of a solution-oriented Chair. But isn’t it common sense? And if it is, why then can’t we pre-empt and solve problems? And the Answer is – Life is not simple. It really isn’t. It requires large dosages of straightforward common sense to overcome Ego and Self. And the dosages are not there.
GRAHAM PERRY.
NEXT ARBITRATION TOPIC – AN ARBITRATOR EXPERIENCING FAMILY DISCORD
NEXT CHINA TOPIC – REDS UNDER THE BEDS
Episode
- AN ANXIOUS NEW ARBITRATOR
- AN ARBITRATOR STUMBLES
- ANGER MANAGEMENT
- ARBITRATION – FEES OF ARBITRATORS
- ARBITRATOR/MEDIATOR
- ARBITRATORS FEES AGAIN
- AWKWARD QUESTIONS
- BACK TO BASICS – A MATRIMONIAL MEDIATION
- DETERMINED NEUTRALITY
- DISCRETION
- DISPUTE RESOLUTION
- FAMILY TENSIONS
- FATHER’S LATE WILL
- FRAUDULENT DOCUMENTS
- GENDER ISSUES AT SCHOOL
- HOUSING AFGHANISTAN REFUGEES
- LATE APPLICATION TO SUBMIT NEW EVIDENCE
- LENGTHY ORAL SUBMISSIONS
- MEDIATION - ANGER MANAGEMENT
- MEDIATION – DENTISTS DISAGREE
- NEIGHBOUR DISPUTES + SECOND HOMES
- NEW WORLD – NEW WORDS
- POST HEARING EVALUATION
- THE ARBITRATOR BECOMES A MEDIATOR
- THE BACKGROUND
- THE BIGGEST SOURCE OF MEDIATION
- THE CORE QUALITY
- THE DOMINATING SOLICITOR
- THE EXPERT WITNESS
- THE FAMILY PROPERTY DISPUTE
- THE FLEXIBILITY OF MEDIATION
- THE MEDIATORS’ SKILLS
- THE OVER-ACTIVE PARTY LAWYER
- THE STORY SO FAR
- TO INTERVENE OR NOT TO INTERVENE
- TRADE ARBITRATORS + LAWYER ARBITRATORS
- UKRAINIAN REFUGEES
- WORDS MATTER
- WRITERS’ BLOCK
Graham Perry On Dispute Resolution
This website serves a number of purposes.
First, it enables me to bring my skills and experience to a wider audience. I remain active as an arbitrator, a mediator, a party advacate and this website tells you about me.
Second, it fulfils a long-held desire to promote a forum for discussion of dispute resolution issues. I have for 20 years been the Chair of the Arbitration Lunch Club together with the Hon Secretary, David Barnett. Pre-Covid we would meet three times a year for a Lunch sponsored by a City of London Law Firm and at the Lunches we would hold a discussion of two topical dispute resolution issues sometimes with the participation of Judges Woolf, Rix, Coleman and Sumption. Covid has triggered the Club to go Zoom-wide with participants drawn from around the world.
Third, there is a current need for a lively inter-active website that, on a daily basis, enables dispute resolvers from around the world to participate in discussion, debate, and disagreement on issues affecting the conduct and development of arbitration and mediation. Contributions can be academic as well as practical; studious as well as flippant; argumentative as well as collegiate.
Why not read my articles on dispute resolution.?
Should you need any advice or require my services contact me today!
Goals
My goal is to make the website lively and encouraging to arbitrators and mediators; to put restraint and self-consciousness to one side and play their part in making dispute resolution lively, informative and progressive. We are always moving forward. Elsewhere on this site, you will find a page which tells you how to become involved.
SOMETHING UNUSUAL
Here’s an interesting situation.
You are a party-appointed arbitrator in a Tribunal of 3. The parties are buying and selling soya beans. They have a falling out over the terms of a Trade Agreement.
Sellers sues Buyer. The dispute is commercial and relates to the minimum quantities in monthly shipments over a 12 month period. A normal commercial dispute.
But then fireworks and Buyers send strongly worded letters to public bodies alleging that Sellers have committed fraud. Sellers argue that they have been libelled and add a claim for damages for libel to the claim about minimum quantities.
Does the Tribunal have to address the libel claim? Two arguments;-
1. The arbitrators are commercial people appointed for their commercial knowledge. They know nothing about libel. They refuse to adjudge the libel claim.
2. They have to handle the libel claim. It is a dispute. The parties want the arbitrators to decide the claim. The arbitrators have no choice. Deal with it.
This issue went to the courts and the Commercial Court made a judgment. But let me throw this open for comment. How do you think the arbitrators should act. Let me hear from you and then I will let you know what the Court said.
Graham Perry.
A Family Mediation
You are a family mediator. You are approached jointly by a husband and wife for assistance in a matrimonial break up. There are two children of the marriage – a boy aged 12 and a girl aged 14. They are both represented by separate solicitors.
The mediation proceeds. A mediation agreement is signed. Letters are exchanged. Meetings take place. You become aware that there are personal issues between the parents concerning their relationship. They do not concern you as such because the divorce is proceeding and these personal issues do not impinge upon the issues in dispute which are to do with financial arrangements, holiday arrangements and involvement with schools. In due course, these matters are agreed and recorded in the Final Agreement which is signed by the husband, the wife and yourself. Your fee is paid.
Three years later your wife has passed away through illness and you are alone without children. In a social setting, you happen to meet up with the wife and a relationship commences. Out of the blue, you receive a letter from the former husband’s solicitors alleging non-disclosure by you of the relationship which, on their information, was current at the time of the mediation. Further, the letter refers to a lack of impartiality on your part and material non-disclosure of the relationship and indicates a claim for damages will follow.
What do you do?
About Me
Graham Perry qualified as a solicitor in 1973 after graduating from Churchill College, Cambridge where he studied History and Economics. He practised for nine years and then made a major career change to become Managing Director, of London Export, a UK company formed in 1953 to concentrate on trade and business with the Peoples’ Republic of China. Since 1990 Graham has been an international dispute resolver of commercial problems resolving commercial disputes.
Experienced Dispute Resolver
Commenced my career as a dispute resolver combining my legal skills and commercial experience. I am an active arbitrator and trade representative in London with the Grain and Feed Trade Association (GAFTA), the Federation of Oils, Seeds and Fats (FOSFA), the London Metal Exchange (LME) and, occasionally, with the Sugar Association. I have a growing practice in shipping disputes and sit on the arbitration committee of the LME and FOSFA. I am a frequent lecturer and writer on commodity arbitration and mediation, giving lectures in China, India, Ivory Coast, Bhutan and the United Kingdom. I am an accredited CEDR mediator.